Achieving home-buying harmony

Buying a home is one of the  most exciting milestones in life, but when you’re a couple working together to save for that all-important deposit, it can really put the relationship under pressure.

It’s rare for couples to see eye to eye on every financial detail. You will most likely have different spending habits, levels of income, and priorities, and that’s perfectly normal. But if you’re not careful, those differences can lead to stress and conflict. And let’s face it—nothing kills romance faster than arguments about money, so here are some things to consider to keep things harmonious.

Getting on the same page

One of the biggest sources of tension when buying a home together is not having clear, mutual goals. So, before diving into the savings process, have an open conversation about why you are doing this and jointly agree on your goals in terms of the property you both envision, your timeframe to buy – and your budget.

Setting goals together ensures you’re both working toward the same dream and provides a powerful incentive to stay on track.

Acknowledge and respect differences in income

Most couples don’t earn the same amount, and this can create a sense of imbalance when saving for a home deposit, especially if one partner is contributing a larger portion of the savings. The key here is to approach it with understanding and respect.

If one of you earns significantly more than the other, have a frank discussion about how to approach saving. While it might feel fair to equally split the deposit, that’s not always realistic and you may wish to consider contributing based on a percentage of your income.

The goal is to make sure that both partners feel they are contributing fairly, even if the contributions aren’t equal in dollar terms. Keep the conversation open and revisit it regularly to ensure both partners are comfortable with the arrangements. Now you can create a budget.

Set a budget that works for both of you

Budgeting is a critical part of the saving process, and while it can be challenging, it doesn’t have to cause tension if you approach it as a team. The first step is to sit down and create a budget that works for both of you.

Understand where your money is currently going. Review your regular expenses (like bills and groceries), and discretionary spending (like entertainment or dining out) and work out how much you can realistically save each month towards your home deposit. If it’s tight, consider cutting back on non-essential spending, but make sure both of you are comfortable with the level of sacrifice required.

Be flexible and ready to adjust

Life doesn’t always go to plan, and sometimes unexpected events or changes in circumstances can impact your ability to save. If something comes up—a job loss, a health issue, or an unexpected bill—don’t panic.

Having an emergency fund or backup plan can also help ease the pressure. Discuss ways to handle any changes. Stay flexible and be willing to adjust your plan as needed.

Celebrate your progress

Saving for a home deposit is a long-term goal, and it’s common to feel as though it’s taking forever. But every little milestone counts, and taking time to celebrate those wins, no matter how small, can help keep momentum going. Whether it’s reaching your first $5,000 in savings or sticking to the budget for a whole month, acknowledging your progress is important.

Celebrating together also reminds you why you’re working so hard in the first place—so you can have a place to call your own. It doesn’t have to be an expensive celebration; a simple picnic in the park or catching a movie can mark the occasion.

Keep communication open

One of the most significant things you can do to avoid conflict is to communicate regularly and openly. It’s easy to build up frustration and talking about issues sooner rather than later can avoid them growing into a source of conflict.

Money is often an emotional subject, so keep the tone of these discussions calm and supportive, remembering you’re both in this together.

At the end of the day, your relationship is the foundation—your home is just the physical space you’ll share. So, keep the laughter, love, and affection flowing as you navigate this journey together.